Whether it's a divorce, loss of a job, loss of a loved one, change in life-trajectory, legal situation or inner turmoil about the state of your life....life is complex. At the same time though, this situation will pass. How you deal with this situation is up to you.
Not like a classy grandmother. Not like a prayer before dinner. I'm talking about a total attitudinal and behavioral intention shift. Go from a pissed off and fired up state - to solid. Shit happens, but it's how you deal with that shit that defines you. You can make the worst of situations into opportunities to get better at life (sometimes begrudgingly of course).
"How you do anything is how you do everything," - Cheri Huber
The keys to dealing with challenging life decisions or situations will be presented here in both practical AND non-physical ways - with a focus on staying graceful. In a practical sense, exhibiting grace means keeping yourself together. Behaviorally, in a black and white sense, losing your shit in the midst of a challenging situation is just not helpful. Falling apart is really not an option, because that makes the situation worse and slows the process of getting through it. Les explore a few practical methods for keeping calm,, focused and balanced in the midst of a life challenge.
Your central nervous system can't recover from heightened states of anxiety and stress without rest. I get it, theres a lot to do, but you're going to be worthless if you're consistently fried...and it'll effect your ability to make non-emotional decisions.
If you're like most people and you've explored resolutions to your specific problem already...ad nauseam, but you keep your great ideas in your head, that's non-optimal. Not only is your mental clarity compromised (because you're keeping a BUNCH of shit in your head) but your mind can play tricks on you. Creating lists will help you see the whole situation. Writing lists of possible approaches to your situation will get it out of your head and allow room for higher level thinking. List the people who you can ask for help. List the acceptable outcomes for you. List the things that are getting in the way of the best possible scenario. MAKE CHOICES THAT SERVE YOUR HIGHEST SELF. Not the whiny self-limiting inner monologue. List the feelings that come up for you in this challenge - just get them out. it's cathartic and addressing that darkness will move you forward.
I understand how it may seem like a distraction or a time-suck, but your body and brain and state of mind are all linked. You have to move that energy man! You have to release the tension you've accumulated in your body in order for your mental state to follow and have a positive effect in your situation. Train your body so that the "doing" chemicals like dopamine and endorphins can move you forward.
Start today. 5 minutes of wakeful stillness will calm your mind. 5 minutes for 5 days will start to re-program your brain and intuition and tune you toward clarity and eventually reveal some solutions in the predicament you're in. Meditation is a hugely common practice among effective, successful people in various fields. You'll see quickly how important it is to be mindful by calming your tornado mind. There are a million reasons why meditation is good for you. I don't meditate every day, but I at least find 5 minutes to sit quietly and observe my breath daily. It provides a stillness in your life when things are the most dicey. Perhaps more than any other tip or hack here, meditation can be the most powerful for you on your way to being your best self in the wake of adversity. Even if you've never meditated, beginning now, may, in a short period of time, provide you with little glimpses of bliss and fulfillment that you may have never experienced. For these reasons and many...do it. Start here if you'd like. Also look at 2
Of course it's huge. Eat shitty food...feel shitty, think shitty. I'm not a dietician, so I won't tell you what to eat. I eat mostly ketogenically - lots of good fats (avocado, coconut oil, nuts, bacon, grass-fed butter and coffee, intermittent fasting, little to no carbs, lots of veggies, almost no fruit). But one thing I will say is Kale shakes. These don't taste amazing, but it's pretty amazing what it does for energy, and yer poops get healthy and consistent.
-4 leaves Italian (dino) kale
- 2 celery stalks
- 1 half apple
- 20 blueberries
- nickel size chunk of ginger
- 6 oz of coconut water or just water (I collect my own water from this spring)
- I saved up and bought a Blendtec blender - blend for a shake cycle
THIS IS WHERE MY KALE SHAKE GETS WEIRD
- 1 clove garlic
- MCT oil (shit is amazing, and deserves more attention later #ketogenic diet)
- scoop of hemp seeds
- scoop of turmeric (although I also take a curcumin supplement daily too)
These practical behaviors are a tactical way to be more focused, centered and full of grace. Grace is exhibited by being balanced, rested, nourished, organized and open to observe the best solution to that major situation in your life...whether you've experienced one already, are going through one now, or have yet to face one. Without employing this stuff when you're going through something hard, you're may be making things hard on yourself. It's like trying to find your way through a maze blindfolded. Eventually, you'll find your way to the end, but stripped of a major faculty, it'll be harder.
The outward expression of these techniques or life-hacks - is a better version of you that is fit for the situation. Know that whatever you're going through will pass. Everything does. So, deal with it as best as you can, and set yourself up for the best scenario. Do things to optimize your best self.