HOW CAN I FIND MY TRUE CALLING
This is the Million Dollar Question.
Here's the short answer and there are 3 of them:
1. Reduce the amount of bullshit in your life
2. Trust your gut/higher power/intuition/
3. Be prepared to work
For our purposes here, we'll attempt to unpack this GIGANTIC question one point at a time. So, we'll focus on number one, reducing the amount of bullshit in your life. First, lets define BS.
I'm defining BS in this case, as people, activities and ways of thinking that clutter your day and your mind with unneeded stuff. Lets start with people-centric BS.
1. Reduce the amount of BS in your life:
People can be a main cause of BS in your life - in many different forms. Old friends stuck in old patterns can be a main prohibitor in you finding your life path. Do you have groups of friends in which you do the same unproductive activities with? Do you have people who say they're your friends, but really just keep you from growing? Or something more benign...like friends who you love, but love telling you about all their struggles and tribulations (but are unwilling to change).
"You remember Kyle from work, well, he said something passive aggressive to me again today!"
This is an example of your friend (being stuck in a bummer situation) wasting your time. Being there for your friends is important, but if you have people in your life that do nothing but bring you down, suck all your time, and zap all your energy, you may need to consider letting them go. I can speak to this personally.
When I had the idea for my first business - I went through a phase of clearing out the BS. That included neglecting my drinking buddies. Obviously, they weren't too happy reducing my nights out from 3x per week to none - but it had to be done, because it wasn't serving me - and drinking IPAs isn't particularly conducive to finding your calling.
The people in your life are rarely going to understand that you're evolving. When the things that used to be important to you are suddenly not, that can be an uncomfortable time for your friends. They know you in a particular way, and that's familiar to them...so when you start to move away from BS in your life, and toward something exciting, challenging, or new, you may alienate the people closest to you. And that's ok. They'll either learn how to shift their perspectives too, through you, or they'll keep in their typical states of mind and find folks that reinforce them.
The other way to look at people causing BS in your life, is your loved ones. Your husbands, wives, kids, sibs...they can all be contributing to the BS in your life. DON'T GET ME WRONG HERE. I want to be specific about this - when you're searching for your life path, the people in your own home need to get on board. This can mean various things.
1. A re-evaluation about how you communicate & support each other.
2. A re-evaluation of how you spend your down time together.
3. A re-evaluation of roles in the home.
Communication is everything. If...out of left field you tell your partner that you want to move to Italy to practice Judo, that's going to be received with somef friction. But, if you sit down and explain that you've been thinking a lot about exploring a new life-path, that can be a joint opportunity for growth. If your commination style at home isn't particularly supportive, or it's sarcastic...consider changing up those BS habits that aren't serving you. Your partner should support you and your goal for self-actualization. They want you to be happy, but they may be comfortable in your shared paradigm. Just tread lightly and speak from the heart.
Stuck in a rut? Too much Netflix and ice cream. We all love down time, but if it's become complacent, then talk to your family about switching it up. Sometimes you need to change your state so that you can think in a new way...act in a new way. This new way may drive you toward a more self-actualized life. Zoning out in front of the TV is the opposite of progress, plus, it's garbage, you just watch it because it's on. Instead, read, listen to podcasts, watch insightful documentaries about innovators and entrepreneurs. Just find a way to shake off the cobwebs. No one is going to do it for you.
If you're a mother of 2 who works in the home, and you do EVERYTHING to keep the household rolling, but you want to branch out, that's going to take some getting used to for your family. IF, all-of-a-sudden, you're taking Reiki and meditation classes 4 nights a week on top of your current home roles, you may get some push back. Communication is key. Express your need for re-invention, evolution. Garner support from your partner. Transformation is profound change and it takes a little time. But if it's worthwhile it'll be worth the work and awkwardness at first.
Email alone can be a life-ruiner. The fact that your email habits are unhealthy can definitely keep you from finding your life path. Facebook is the #2 tech culprit. I have a video about FOMO and how limiting it can be in your path toward awesomeness. Naturally, Facebook is the main perpetrator. So, cut out the BS. Find new tech techniques that are conducive to your growth.
Stop bringing your phone into bed with you. It's a killer for the libido and intimacy. The blue light is literally tricking your eyes into keeping you awake. Sleep is super important for your stress level and your ability to think creatively.
I could spend a whole blog about managing technology (I have three businesses, social media accounts but I manage to keep it manageable) but I'll boil it down.
1. If possible, batch your email use to twice a day. AND NOT first thing or last thing.
2. Don't sleep with your phone under your pillow. EMFs, blue lights, beeps - not good.
3. Re-think your relationship with facebook - limit how much time per day you're on it.
4. Try canceling your cable. I know, crazy right, but your world will get more creative.
5. Cut out screens for 1 hour before bed time. I know, nuts, but try it for a week & watch.
The key here is to minimize things in your life that are keeping you from finding your life path. It's not on TV. It's not on facebook, or twitter, could be on instagram, but thats only if you've curated a feed that actually motivates you. When you reduce the amount of distracting BS you get from your phone, computer and TV, you'll find that THE GOOD STUFF, finds it's way into your field of consciousness.
Like when you're meditating, or floating, or doing yoga, or showering, you're not worried about politics, or what your friend did last night. The best of you comes bubbling up to the surface when you're not attached to tech.
Do whatever you have to do to filter the role tech has in your life, so you can focus on the good stuff.
Evaluate your life
There's an exercise I heard Tim Ferriss explain in a recent podcast in which he did an 80/20 analysis of the things that were causing the most stress in his life. Cutting out those stressors and BS will have an immediate impact in your life.
-Make a list of the things that stress you out.
-Go through the list and figure out which few things on that list are causing the most stress for you.
-For those few things that are causing the most stress, ask yourself why they're stressing you out, or rather, why you're allowing them to stress you out.
-Devise a plan to tackle one of those things in the next two weeks. Really focus in on that thing, and figure out when, how, who and why that BS is bringing you down. After you've figured out, change it. No one will do it for you. If you need help in figuring out how to change it, talk to a life coach. If it's past trauma, talk to a therapist etc.
For many people, the sheer thought of making a list about stressors in their life seems far-fetched. If you're one of those people, you have a long road to hoe. You have to invest time in yourself. If you're not willing to make a list to improve your situation, then you have to be more willing to stretch yourself. Again, no one is going to improve you for you.
Your Physical Space
Clearing out the BS sometimes means actually clearing out stuff. Is your place a mess? Desk at work a mess? Do you have clothes you don't ever wear? Keepsakes that are no longer relevant in your life and not serving you?
Get rid of that BS.
Donate it. Clear it out. Throw it away. Stuff has an energetic imprint on it. That sweatshirt that reminds you of an old relationship puts you in a vibe every time you look at it. The watch you don't wear, but just sits in a bowl on your counter is haunting you.
Get that BS outta there.
Clear out the old stuff that's just hanging on you and dragging you down. Take a moment to get your bedroom organized. A cluttered house is an outward reflection of what's going on for you. Sure, we all let things build up or get dirty, but if you're a chronic holder-onner, or a pack rat, it's not allowing your mind and spirit to expand and strive to new heights.
Reducing the Amount of BS In Your Life
Ahhhhhh, that feels a little better doesn't it. Now, that you've shed your skin, you can start to look forward to what's next. You can allow new, interesting things into your life now that you've made room for them.
If you're looking for your life path, that means you're not on it now. And now that you're not weighed down by BS that doesn't serve you anymore you can concentrate on attracting your path and listening to your intuition. Your highest self already knows your path, you just gotta access that consciousness now.